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Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

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Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

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We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

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A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

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Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

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I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

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I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?